Johnny Whiz Bang, Abolitionist - The Search for Yaser Abdel Said Vol 3: (Paperback)

It was tough being a middle-aged private detective trapped in the body of a ten-year-old boy. It had never happened to Mike Hammer or Shell Scott--or to Jessica Fletcher for that matter. But Bernard Piffy had had no other choice. If he wanted to get into the Osama bin Laden Madrassas for Girls to rescue his darling little Aisha from a fate worse than death he would have to turn himself into a ten-year-old boy. So he went to Ka'b bin al-Ashraf. The old poet was reluctant. But Piffy was adamant and Ka'b performed the transition. It would be as easy as pie insisted Piffy--he would penetrate the Madrassas disguised as a ten-year-old, he would locate Aisha and sneak her out of the dang place stuffed in a jar of cooking oil on the back of a donkey. It should have worked. But then his guardian angel puppy dog killed the Madrassas janitor There was an uproar. To escape detection and possible death Piffy, with the help of Aisha, disguised himself as a girl. He was only ten years old. Who would know? And then Sheikh Rahman al-Kabibble, the noted Islamic scholar and theologian showed up at the Madrassas to claim his child bride. (The Sheikh had recently issued a fatwa legalizing marriage to girls as young as nine years old) The Sheikh's bride to be, Hanadi, was almost eleven going on thirteen. No problem? There shouldn't have been--but then the Sheikh got a load of Aisha's ten-year-old friend. It was lust at first sight. He threw over Hanadi. And away they went in the Sheikh's brand new Midnight Rider. With Stockton Bonds chasing after Piffy and the Keepers of the Fleas chasing after Bonds there was never a dull moment. And then the Sheikh tried to have his way with the ten-year-old. Adrift in a sea of Viagra, the old fool was shorn of his 'immensity' and Piffy remained a virgin. The Midnight Rider was soon commandeered by a band of thugs out to dispossess Stockton Bonds of the Sufi Flea. There was a shoot-out and the Midnight Rider crashed into a ditch. When Hamas came upon the scene Piffy was still ten years old and dressed as a girl. He was dragged from the burning Midnight Rider. Dr. Haribert ul-Heim, Islam's version of Dr. Joseph Mengele, gave the 'girl child' a shot of homemade sodium pentathol to get to the truth. The last thing Piffy said before he went under was, "I want my puppy dog." No, nothing like this had ever happened to Mike Hammer or Shell Scott and Piffy had a whole new bunch of friends to meet--Dr. Haribert ul-Heim, Diabolica Tungsten, Colonel al-Thi'b, the usual mad Imam, Captain Flip Corker and the three Drs. Mohammad--and the only person who could change him back into an adult male, Ka'b bin al-Ashraf, had washed his hands of the whole mess and was visiting with friends in the Twilight Zone. It would not be easy pretending to be a little girl in the land God forgot and the Devil remembered but Piffy would try.